A Valentine’s Day Portfolio


Valentine’s Day isn’t like Shrove Tuesday, not everyone can get into the ‘fun’ of an overpriced set menu surrounded by awkward dates or over the top scenes of PDA. But, here at Vertem we have come up with a way that everyone can prosper, no matter how cards and flowers were delivered to you today. Benefit from those smug Instagram couples that rub it in your face all year round. Prosper from boyfriends trying to make amends. Have the last laugh at every rom-com you feel is basically a life memoir, and go to bed with a hot, envied, prosperous portfolio.

Let’s start with the obvious buys on the 14th, these are to a Valentine’s portfolio what Mo Salah and Sergio Aguero are to Fantasy Teams. Straight off the bat, Card Factory. Because Valentine’s Day is usually a lot more last minute, well, even closer to the deadline than usual and Moonpig’s next day delivery isn’t enough. Plus, your signature handwriting and spelling mistakes give it that character that you can’t copy. On a similar note (no pun intended), we head to Royal Mail Group. Some heroes don’t wear capes. These delivery crusaders receive the most love technically, and without them nobody would know the feeling of fighting to get through the door when you return from work. Having to go to the sorting office because your delivery was simply too big. Without them this day just wouldn’t happen (or at least without them, Snapchat, Instagram, Google, Facebook, Whatsapp etc) it just wouldn’t happen. The postman always delivers.

Got plans on Valentine’s Day? Lucky you, here we have the juicy part of the portfolio. Classic cinema date trying to perform the throwback 80’s yawn into hug move? Cineworld is your guy. Ordering pizza? Well you can either go straight for Domino’s or maybe try Just Eat, to cover every dietary requirement. They even cater for invisible girlfriends and boyfriends, which are the fussiest of eaters. Food deliveries make the ultimate tragedy of a meal for one in a restaurant a thing of the past. Order a family deal so the delivery driver thinks you’re the most popular guy in the cul-de-sac. Also, staying in means only one thing, no not Netflix because they’re listed in the US. We’re talking ITV (STV is also available), stick some solid terrestrial TV on to show them you haven’t forgot your roots, and to avoid Netflix’s ‘are you still there?’ as your only interaction for the night. Topping the Valentines Day night in starter pack would be Majestic Wines. Go for bottle not instantly recognised from a Tesco Express and all of a sudden, you’re a connoisseur, they’ll be asking how long did you spend on that Vineyard in the South of France in no-time.

Heading out? Well then snap up some shares in Wetherspoons because it could be love at first sight over a ridiculously cheap pitcher. After you’ve had a few of them, Hollywood Bowl is again an old school failsafe*. Bowling not your thing but still looking to score? How about Goals Soccer Centres?

Sat reading this thinking you really want to push the boat out? Or possibly sat there reading this from your boat? Well then an immediate place to start for you is Aston Martin. Because everyone knows true love is measured by materialistic things. To cover all bases, no matter who picks up the bill, grab yourself some Worldpay shares because nobody carries cash anymore. Going all out? Gem Diamonds can sort you then, and bolster it with some chocolates from well none other than Hotel Chocolate.

Other notable mentions could be Reckitt Benckiser (who play an essential part for some). Easyjet, for those going to tick all the stereotypical boxes and get a picture from the Eiffel Tower or Trevi Fountain. If you’re old school or like European football, BT has you covered and Ramsdens Gold may give you both long and short exposure, for any disasters that happen overnight forcing the return of some items. To finish, we hope you all have a lovely day, happy investing!

*both our investment and dating advice in this article do not guarantee success, and losses will almost certainly exceed expectations if you’re going to Hollywood Bowl in an Aston Martin




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